


I'm just a dead man crawling tonight

by SaltyRicy



Category: Monsta X (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But They Love Each Other Platonically, Changkyun Suffers Too, Clueless Jeon Wonwoo, Depression, Double whammy, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone lives, Except DK because he is sunshine, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, How Do I Tag, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, I think?, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mingyu/Changkyun best friends because yes, No edit we die like men, Protective Woozi, Soft Xu Ming Hao | The8, Supportive Changkyun, Surprise Mingyu Suffers, they love each other platonically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 03:52:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17738501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyRicy/pseuds/SaltyRicy
Summary: Mingyu loves physical touch. Not even kissing, just simply sitting next to each other with arms touching or legs brushing against each other. He didn’t need anything else but them next to him to feel alive.But now he can’t even touch them without dreaming of flowers, tasting them.Now with his lips painted blood red and his fingers wrapped around his throat, Changkyun’s panicking voice distant to his ears, he’s barely existing.Mingyu, I think I might love her. The flowers bloom in his lungs and the roots crawl up his throat, and with heavy limbs his eyes grow heavy, a smile already painted on his face and he feels a hand prying his own fingers away from his throat. No air enters his lungs.Mingyu, I think I love you. I’m sorry. Beautiful blue hydrangea petals stick to his parted lips, the blue mixing with red as he finally closes his eyes.





	I'm just a dead man crawling tonight

"Mingyu." Just one more hour, you can do it, one more hour and then it's 10 and you know that SeungCheol won't keep you in here longer than that.

"Mingyu?" The boy stared at the clock on the wall, the arrows slowly moving as if everything was slowed down, as if he was in a movie, watching someone else's life go by. He could feel someone's arm wrapping around his shoulders and he turned his head to the side, smelling the familiar citrus shampoo that Jisoo always uses and sometimes hides because Hoshi forgets to buy his own things more than he would want to admit. 

"Mingyu?" The tall boy tilts his head to the side, confusion clouding his mind and his eyes as he looks down a little bit at his hyung, his brows furrowing as he watches Joshua's lips part in question, the American's eyes searching his.

"Yes _hyung_? Did you need something?" The corners of Joshua's lips turned down the slightest bit and he wanted so badly to lift them up with the tips of his fingers. Frowning never fit him, not when his eyes were constantly smiling and gentle. Mingyu tried to smile at the older male, but he feared that it was more of a grimace than anything else by the way Jisoo's eyes narrowed a little bit as he scanned his face.

"I've been calling you for a minute already, are you sick? We need to finish up the practice so that we could go home earlier Gyu _ah_." The boy's cheeks flushed a soft pinking, his tan skin glowing a little bit as he turned his head to his right so that he would be looking at the mirror in front of him. He could see Hoshi looking at him with an encouraging smile, making Mingyu nod his head at him. His eyes drifted to the side and something in his throat tingled as his gaze met Wonwoo's who looked like he was analyzing all of his movements.

"No _hyung_ , everything's okay, I think I'm just tired, you know how we tall people use more energy to dance because we have longer legs and arms right?" Joshua mockingly hit him over his right shoulder and shook his head in amusement as they heard Woozi curse under his nose and an empty plastic water bottle hit Mingyu over the back of his head. The tall boy turned around to smile at his shortest friend and laughed loudly when he saw that Jihoon was glaring at him while standing on the tips of his toes.

"You think you are so great with all that height? Not everyone can be overgrown children." He could hear Jun laughing in the background and he could feel eyes on the two of them, surely the other members were entertained by the two of them.

"Not our fault you fit your grow spurt when you were ten and stopped growing when you were eleven." Woozi whacked the back of Mingyu's head with the plastic bottle again and muttered under his nose how _one day he will make sure to wipe that goofy grin off of his face._

Soonyoung turned around and let the music flow, they next comeback's title song, Home, was playing as Mingyu stared at the reflection in the mirror, he made sure to not let his eyes wander to the side, he didn't need to be distracted again. They were all already tired and the faster they finished practicing the faster they could get back to their dorms and to their beds.

He could feel the sweat dripping down his face and the side of his neck as they ran through the choreography for the 10th time, Soonyoung pointing out where they need to improve. He could see the dark bags under his hyung's eyes, but he knew that until they made this choreography perfect Hoshi wasn't going to rest at all. It wouldn't be the first time he had found his hyung in the dance room at four in the morning as he snuck out of the dorms to practice they dances.

"Okay, everyone, I think it's enough for tonight, we've been in here since eight and I swear Vernon's barely standing on his own two feet at this point." Vernon let out a somewhat offended Hey and shook his head as their leader smiled at him softly and ruffled his hair, making the younger rapper blush at the affection and unconsciously lean in closer.

Mingyu's eyes slowly drifted through the dance room and he smiled softly as he looked at Minghao and Jun. He had never said it, but he loved the fact that the two of them had each other and could talk to each other in Chinese, could tell each other their worries. He ran his fingers through his hair and he half listened to what Soonyoung was trying to tell him, something about the new Japanese reality show he has been dying to watch. The taller boy nodded his head as he smiled at his hyung with his eyes still focused on the two Chinese members.

Jun was gesturing his hands up and down and Minghao was giggling softly, one of his hands pressed into his stomach, his eyes crinkled and his laughter lines prominent and Mingyu couldn't help but to smile a little bit wider. He could feel eyes on him but he simply nodded his head and Soonyoung kept on talking his ear off and he could feel Vernon hanging off of his left arm, trying to get Mingyu to hold more of his weight so that he could rest on him. For a second the tall boy turned his head to his left, looking down at Vernon with warmth blooming in his chest. This was his home. They might be overworked, running on three hours of sleep and their muscles might ache but they had each other. And as long as Jeonghan secretly made sure everyone was asleep before him, Dino made sure his hyungs got food before him and as long as Woozi ran his fingers through Mingyu's hair when he was feeling homesick and his bones were too heavy to do anything else but make him fall onto his bed, he knew that he would never want anything else. Just him and his members making their dreams come true.

He shifted his focus back onto Minghao and this time their gazes meet, the Chinese boy smiling softly and Jun talked enthusiastically, but his eye never left Mingyu's as he nodded his head, his eyes softening even more if that was possible when he saw how Vernon clung to the tall boy from exhaustion.

And Mingyu could feel that familiar scratching feeling in the back of his throat. He should ask one of the managers if it was okay if he could sit out one of their vocal practices, maybe he needs to let his voice rest up a bit. It really was not a smart choice to stay up until three in the morning practicing all of his lines just to wake up at six to practice them again. But it's not something that a day or two of rest won't fix up.

As they all piled into two vans Mingyu was squished in between of Seokmin and Seungkwan, the two of them still having enough energy to chatter loudly, making some of the other members join in as they started talking about the latest girl group songs they had been trying to learn the dances to.

He could feel eyes on him as he looked out of the window, trying to tune out the conversation that was happening. Focusing on the passing lights seemed to work until he eyes boring into him became a bit too much and he turned his head to the side again. _Wonwoo._ The older boy was staring at him and Mingyu could feel the annoying scratching at the back of his throat. His fingers massaged his own nape and we held gazes with his hyung, another set of fingers creeping onto the back of his neck to help him out. And Mingyu didn't even need to turn his head to know who it was.

Seokmin. Their resident sunshine who had too much energy yet when he saw that someone was exhausted he would do anything to help them out. He could already feel his muscles relaxing the slightest bit and he shoulders dropped and he slouched in his seat. Wonwoo was still staring at him, a small smile grazing his lips as fondness entered his eyes and Mingyu couldn't help but to avert his eyes to his knees.

The annoying scratching at the back of his throat made him let out a soft cough and he mentally cursed himself out because Dino turned his head to look at him, and knowing the maknae, he will be telling this to SeungCheol and the leader will tell this to Woozi. Chan meant well, but it was just a simple soar throat, not something Mingyu couldn't deal with by himself.

" _Hyung_ , are you okay?" Mingyu couldn't help but to smile at the maknae as he clutched his phone in his hand, his eyes finally fleeting to the screen and reading the last message he had received.

**Kyunie [8:56 PM]**

**Mingew, it's not funny :(( what if Won hyung finds out?**

Mingyu laughed at the name Changkyun used on him and shook his head as his fingers flew over the screen, texting back quickly and telling his friend that everything was going to be okay and that his precious _Hyungwonie Hyung_ would understand. 

"I'm okay Chanie, just a bit of a soar throat, nothing more."

But the moment Mingyu stepped through the doors of the dorm he could already feel Woozi's deadly stare fixed upon the side of his head.

"I swear if you manage to get yourself sick and die right before our comeback I will personally resurrect you and then kill you myself again." Mingyu laughed loudly as his roommate ushered him into their shared room, managing to manhandle the taller boy onto his bed and threatening to actually hide his favorite spatula if he moved away from his spot.

Mingyu scratched his throat as he coughed and waited for Woozi to bring him a bowl of warm soup.

This was all he needed to feel loved.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time posting something in AO3 and I hope I'll be able to update frequently :) this is more like an intro into what is going to happen and slowly the angst will be creeping in more and more with each chapter.
> 
> Also other chapter will be way longer, this one is like an intro and then we dive in head first into an angsty mess.


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